Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A little of me

I'm bored of myself, and my current life style
No excitements, no surprises

I used to have an opportunity to study overseas, but I gave up...because of my mum. She has a thought...that I'll get married with a foreigner and never come back to her. To be frank, if I really wanna do something, no one can stop me but my mum. I will never want to make her down, if one day we die...I hope I can hold her hands, and go to the other world together. I cry whenever I think of this...

Few years back, I really thought I will not marry anybody for this life, to be a single mother seemed to be a good option compared to marry a man that I don't understand. Why I said man that I don't "understand"? If we know each other at the age of 21, that means 21 years before we know each other is totally blank, I don't know the previous him, and he wouldn't know the previous me. Yeah, maybe his/her mum, friends or anybody will tell you about them, but it's merely word of mouth, you do not see and feel it yourself. We do not belong to anyone

And now, I have another man who loves as much as my mum, I'm blessed. Perhaps you think I'm a woman who will never says "I'm satisfied", but you have got to agree with me, life is just about thousand days. Looking back at those days when I was younger, I see no regrets. I have a lot of good people around me, my life was full of excitements, fun...walking from KLCC to Sg. wang with my best friend, singing all the way down the road...stepping each stones with my poor heels, never bring umbrella, loved to enjoy the rain, got whole wet and got in the mall...I had freedom, I did everything that I wanted. The only regret is, I didn't have the courage to leave the land that I love. I should have insisted to explore the outside world, I should have listened to my principal... I should have persuaded my mum that I will come back and never leave her alone

Life without dream is shameless

Maybe I have had one, it's study in the land that I know no one, to learn the culture and learn to be independent. Too much of responsibilities, make me pause, maybe it's a full stop.

Love is not a kind of responsibility, maybe it is... at least the voice in my heart said so. Love shouldn't be a burden

I shouldn't keep looking back at the past, because life has no rewind. I must treasure what I have got now, because TODAY is always a PRESENT. I'm looking forward to a happy future, I hope I will live long and always a happy woman.