Friday, April 10, 2009

Keeping and letting go

I have been thinking the same thing when I was driving home yesterday after meeting my sweetheart Hue Ru

Here the story goes
Yesterday when I was driving home (about 5:10pm), Michell gave me a ring, said Michael (my bro-in-law) will only be there to fetch Hue Ru from her kindergarten about 7pm, which is really late, and she asked if I would be fine to pick Hue Ru from Kindergarten, and bring her to the nearest shopping mall to spend that 1-2 hour(s) before the arrival of Michael.

Certainly it would be great to spend my evening with Hue Ru, I didn't see her for a long time, more than a month, I missed her cheeky smile so much. It rained heavily, Hue Ru drank too much of water and she peed her pants..not exactly, she was actually wearing a diaper but it was already full, should have change a new one before she let go. Don't get me wrong, Hue Ru doesn't need a diaper, she knows she must go to washroom to pee or at least find a potty, but sometimes when we travel in car for hours or when toilet is not "reachable", we would help her to put a diaper on. Thus, my car cushion is wet. I found another diaper inside her bag, so I parked in Jusco, and helped her to change diaper inside my car, together with her clothes and pants, she has everything extra inside her bag ;)

She looked a bit shy but definitely happy seeing me helping her, actually she just loves to stick with me, every time she sees me she will ask me to bring her to my office or to bring her home. And I'm more than willing to take care of her.

But recently, things have changed, because I'm now having a puppy at home
Michell is very against of keeping animals at home, and Sugar is now staying with me

Do you see the conflicts?
Kong Chai a.k.a Didi was not feeling well these few days, normally Michell would ask me to bring Hue Ru to my office and after work I will fetch her home (straight to my house), and I will take care of Hue Ru until Kong Chai recovers from illness. Last week Kong Chai was sick, and Michell didn't ask me to take care of Hue Ru, Hue Ru was then went to Michael's sister's house, to stay there for days. I was definitely hurt, I promised Michell that I wouldn't let Sugar approaches Hue Ru but she insisted Hue Ru must stay away from animals, especially breeds with hairs/furry animals. She believes furry animals are not good for babies.

After saying bye with Hue Ru and Michael yesterday, I kept thinking the same issue. There's no question that I love Hue Ru, but Sugar now is a part of me. And I just brought her to see a vet yesterday morning before I went to work.

At night, Michell called me, she said Hue Ru kept nagging them, she said she wants me. I felt happy (because I miss her too), but dilemma. Michell suggested I bring Sugar to animal home and keep her there for a few days until she brings Hue Ru home, or keep Sugar in Kevin's house for a few days. If under normal ciscumstance, I would not hesitate and will ask Kevin to help to take care of Sugar for a few days, Sugar is our baby so I don't see anything wrong, although I will sure miss her to death. One thing is for sure, I wouldn't bring her to animal homes. But now the situation is different, Sugar is having cough, she eats medicines 3 times a day, and I supervise her condition everyday, at this very moment how can I let Kevin keeps her?

Over the phone, I said I will discuss with Kevin, after I hung it up, my tears rolled down without a sign, to my surprised I was actually weeping. I felt so bad and I hardly breath

I told mum, she said we will keep Sugar inside the cage just for 2 days, and Sugar is sick by the way, she needs lot of rest. I told Michell this idea before, but she says NO as long as Sugar is at home, she will not bring babies to my home. I understand her role as a mother, I never blame her, I never never

Hue Ru is a very important one in my heart, but Sugar is now part of me, part of my life. Dad (although he didn't say but I feel), mum, Eling and Weng likes Sugar a lot too. I didn't mention Joan doesn't mean she doesn't like Sugar, just she doesn't keen on touching them.

Now, my mind is full of Hue Ru, I really miss her so much, and I love hugging her to sleep at night.

Sometimes we must give something up in order to keep another one/thing.
I have Sugar, but Hue Ru seems so far away now.
I have Sugar, but do you think I will go to travel if she hasn't fully recovered? Role as a mother, I really understand



CathJ said...

Dear Violet.. so sorry to hear u are in big dilemma.. but it is true that some kids are very allergic with animals until certain age.. don't be up set ya.. go travel is the best choice.. ;-)

violetmay said...

Hello Cath, I read the news...sigh it's not really a good time to visit Bangkok now :(

Dr V said...

I think both of you are doing what you feel is best for those whose lives depend on you. I'm sure you know everything I'll say next, but let me do what I do best...stating the obvious. ^_^

If Michell has that position about animals in the homes, then you're right to respect her wishes. Even if you don't's the mother who has to live with the consequences of whatever choices she makes for her child. You're also doing what you feel is in the best interest of Sugar. So I hope she respects your choices as well. While the circumstances where you meet Hue Ru may be different...they're just different. Certainly you can find a "new normal" which makes everyone comfortable. Change is sometimes a bit uncomfortable, but it is not something to be dreaded or feared. You're all reasonable and loving people, so you'll have lots of options to meet the needs of everyone. I wish you and your family the best in whatever settles this matter for you.

violetmay said...

Dr VHello my friend, thank you very much for the considerate message, I'm happy to let you know the problem is now solved! Will tell you more later :)