Friday, August 13, 2010

To forgive or forget?

Life is awful, when you thought you have the world, someone would come out and tell you your credit limit is a few I actually have a credit card.

No, I don't.

A person like me simply don't NEED any credit cards (not that I have a ATM machine...) or I will swipe till drop, I really have problem controlling my itchy hands when it comes to er... seeing things that I like
Better to be safe, use cash. When my wallet left few penis pennies, I know it's time to quit.

I'm never good at self-controlling, I'm sure I'm not the only one. I always try to hide my shoppings from mum/Kevin, but my mouth couldn't keep a secret. Most probably I'll still tell, but with discounted rate (I do the math, of course). But most of the time, I can never keep a secret, and I don't mean keeping real secret...just the small one, little one. Words just blurt out without me noticing..and again, I don't mean a real secret. Your real secret is safe with me, so anything new?

Sometimes, I don't tell them how much I spent in those useless items, but I'll always tell if there's "new arrivals" in my wardrobe, no...I hardly keep it in my wardrobe anymore, it's too full I don't even want to open the door. Everything's folded and placed on my Queen size bed, I only have little tiny place to sleep at night. I think it's cool, at least I know nobody will sneak into my bed at night. In case you think I have a very messy room...not really, I folded everything, yeah yeah..sometimes I stack too high and it er..imagine me performing Kung Fu at night. That's why...I could never hide anything from mum's eyes. Or anybody

Getting stuck in there?
I'm sorry
but I'm not talking about shopping, I only use shoppings to manipulate the story (if there's one). The whole point is, I don't keep my little secrets.

Anyone, and I really mean ANYONE are always welcome to tell me tiny little secrets, and I know if it's a real secret or they fake it. When something is literally related to me, I just HAVE to know it, I just have to...unless you can keep it until the end of day, which no one is going to.

I'm going to find out anyway, so why don't you tell me now? When it bursts itself,
I'm not going to be merry,
I'm not going to appreciate it,
I'm not going to just, Get Over It
I swear I will be damned annoyed, wake up middle of the night and wonder WHY? Like, now

When shit happens, I can either forgive, or to forget.
Of course to forgive is far more better than forget.

"Forget" is ..kind of dangerous? Just like you keep everything in wardrobe, you squeeze everything in, one day you open the door, everything fall/fly out and hit your head and I bet you'll be fricking mad. Just like, you tend to forget tiny little here and there, one day when you have emotional breakdown, everything just burst out and no one could stop it.

I'm never good at hiding, I always got caught every time I play hide-n-seek when I was much younger, I never liked this game. Because my mum once said, don't play hide-n-seek at night, unwanted spirits might join you at the middle of the game and you might never come back..
Come to think of it, it actually means something, there's a hidden never play Hide and Seek (hide anything from anyone?), unwanted spirits might join you at the middle of the game (you find out awful facts), and you might never come back (you'll never forget, and close your heart forever).

To forgive is always the only option
If sorry seems to be the hardest word, forgiving is the hardest thing. Sometimes it's even harder to forgive your own-self.

Forgive and Forget... I have faith in myself, I can Forget and Forgive

So, do you have any more things (literally related to me please) to tell me?



CathJ said...

I always think to tell it out is the right thing... heheheh... talking about shopping thing... coz if they found out 1 day... ohhh very hard.. as you said on your post.. ^_^

Dr V said...

Very interesting post VV! I always say "I'm not regal enough to forgive, and I'm not foolish enough to forget." I don't mean literally. I mean that I don't know if I'm important enough for someone to need my forgiveness. Perhaps I'm fooling myself if I think I can rescue someone from the consequences of their actions by forgiving them. As for forgetting, well if I don't learn from my mistakes, then what's the point of the suffering in the first place? So forgetting is also out.

Likewise, I don't throw stones at people no matter what they do, because I am also not regal enough to be the instrument of someone else's fate. The universe is far bigger than me, and a lot older. To survive all this time, I'm sure the fate of the universe did not rest on my shoulders. There must be balance in the universe, and consequences follow what we do...regardless of what I desire.

Oh, and I think Kevin has already decided that he'll trust the credit cards to your children instead of with mom. hahaha Even Sugar might have her own credit card, and she'll have strict instructions in her file to reject her card if her mom tries to use it. Now that's really a shame! hahaha