Thursday, May 21, 2009

Recent updates

Kevin was really busy these few weeks, sometimes I sit alone in the office, doing nothing. That's the problem, he is VERY busy, but sometimes I don't even know why I am here. We should be in different industries, I have no interest in legal work, not at all..I don't like essays, I don't like to write letters, I don't like accounting, I don't like to just sit in the office, basically I'm not an "admin" kind of person.

Somehow he has a lot of court cases these few weeks (way too much!) which consumed most of his time, sometimes he sleeps very late, sometimes he stays up till dawn, sometimes he skips his lunch, sometimes he doesn't have time for dinner, sometimes he forgets me being lonely in the office.

I understand very well, he is doing all these for our future, but I'm just a simple woman, I need care, I need attentions. If you follow my blog from start, you'll see I seldom have pictures of me with him, started from days ago. I try to be considerate, but somehow it's tough..and I just have to bear with it.

We work in a same office, but we don't get to see each other everyday. We only get to meet maybe twice in a week, and if he has clients on weekend, that's all for our weekend plan.

I consider myself a good girl friend, I stitch I knit I read at home during weekend, but when I think back, I'm like wasting my life. But I know I have to stay, I have to help in his work, he trusted me.

I'm thinking of picking up a course, bakery? I have always wanted to do this years ago, since I graduated from my Diploma in Hotel and Catering Management. But, I don't have conventional oven. Japanese/French language course? Nah! I'm not a language fetish. I would love to join fitness class, but I'm still thinking about it until today.

I'm really glad Kevin brought Sugar in my life, at least I know there is someone waiting for me at home. Kevin is a very sweet man, he knows when to come back, you know..before I burst

I only need a little care, a little attention, a small kiss, a tight hug..
I was down the other day, surprisingly he came to office during lunch time, he brought me to 记得吃 (Gei Dak Sek) Kepong, he knows I love desserts :)

It's not about desserts and foods, but time he contributed. God knows he is freaking busy, I really appreciate every efforts he makes, this is why I will never leave him :)



CathJ said...

(Long one beware!!!)

Jeez...violet.. I UNDERSTAND what you feel... I felt the same hubby have their own biz and they(brothers) always outstation!!

My hubby gave me everything so that I don't get bored. But deep in our heart (as a lady) we will feel that.

There is time we argue about 'family time'...sometimes my hubby say... I gave you everything..what else you not satisfied (in a loving voice)..I did not answered... coz in my heart... they just don't understand women :-)

But hey.. My hubby do really really love me..I know they(he and his brothers) doing that for family..for me and our son... sometimes we just need to accept it and try to find our own interest to make us happy..

But I am quite worried..coz in your have not married.. You have to be strong girl..let the LOVE swipe all the loneliness away...

Changing to a new job(not in a same office might be a good idea)..So that you both will keep missing each other, coz no more stay in the same office.. (I hope soo)..I wish you both a wonderful LOVE!! and go through this love journey till the end)..Is there any end?? I don't think soo...after story new episode.. :-D

violetmay said...

Hello Cath :)))
First of all I would love to thank you for the long message. It's very good to know more about you too :)
Actually he really cares for me, always offer me to follow him when he has appointments, but the problem is me, I don't like just sit there and listen, like a flower vase, no good no good! Haha :P
Before I worked for him, I've worked for somebody else, he doesn't like the idea of me working for other people, because he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman (I don't agree, but he is very thick face shameless LOL!!), working for other people might put me in 'risk', he's worried that I will fly with another person (really what the phuck).
His parents both think I should help him during this stage, because it's still a new branch and need a trusted person to take care of the accounts (an unfortunate incident happened in the main office account section before, since then they will never want to hire people to take over it). They think if I work for other people, why not work for family and help to develop the business.
For me, I work for him because I want stay with him during tough time, give him my supports in everything he does, and there is always me whatever what happen out there..etc etc. (long reply, hey I should do a blog entry!)
The main reasons for him to get me a puppy are, he loves me, he knew I like it. He knew I felt lonely, and Sugar will makes a good companion :)
Don't worry too much about me, sometimes I'm really too negative and think too much.
By the way, we are engaged..hehe ;)
Read this!

Mike said...

Hi Violet,

I hope you don't mind if I chime in. I'm not sure what I can say that would help, but I'll try.

Men and women are fundamentally different, in how our brains work, and what society - and our families - train us to do. Nature and nurture, if you will, are conspiring against us.

I had a coworker who worked the late night shift, with lots of overtime so he could earn a good living. Whenever I saw him, he was tired and strained. As I got to know him, I learned that he and his wife had grown apart, their marriage was foundering, he was depressed. A few months later, I was in his area again, and there he was, working on the day shift, and looking great. I asked what happened. He and his wife had a huge argument, and he said he was breaking his back to give her whatever she needed. She replied that she didn't marry a paycheck, she married a man, and would happily do without a lot of the paycheck to get back more of the man. He changed shifts, stopped the overtime, and, despite having significantly less money (and he was not that highly paid), he and his wife were so much happier.

I'm not suggesting that for you and Kevin, but telling you that this is a very common problem. And it's something that, hopefully, will work itself out in time. Know that Kevin loves you with all his heart. He wants whats best for you and his family - which you are part of now (in his mind and heart). There is a short term penalty, but he feels it's best in the long term.

In history, men were hunters and women were gatherers. Women actually provided most of what fed the family, but men provided the feasts - rare but huge treats. We are wired for different goals. We have to learn to accept that we're different, but try to empathize with the other. It's tough, and takes maturity to realize your perspective isn't the only valid one. You'll get it before Kevin, probably - women are usually better at these things.

As for working together... it has it's risks. Sometimes you can help each other, sometimes having a perspective from a very different world is useful in a relationship.

But Kevin is right - you are exceptionally beautiful, and you will have men fawning over you wherever you work. You're also trustworthy - and that's important in his work. But you're no office flower, either.

Difficult times. Keep strong. Remember, love above all.

violetmay said...

Hello Mike :)
Of course I wouldn't mind your comment, in fact I'm really happy you leave messages here occasionally :))
I thought thoroughly, everything you said was right, most of the women don't look for paychecks (I know there are some money-minded/materialistic too), but not me. Otherwise I would have became somebody's mistress long time ago (LOL!)
No matter how tough our situation is (actually not that tough tho), I know I have to be considerate and be strong, for the man who loves me the most, and for the man I love the most :)